Loss
by Chev 7
Summary: Almost immediately after the incident at Asteroid A-77, the commander of Havoc Squad realizes that you can't always save everyone.


_Jaxo...I'm sorry_. Kiveron thought as he hung his head low as he sat down in the pilot's chair as the BT-7 Thunderclap gunship _Recoil _shot into hyperspace, leaving behind the destroyed wreckage of the remote imperial asteroid prison known as A-77. For Kiveron, it would forever be etched in his mind as the place where he had failed to save a valued friend and comrade that had once saved his life.

_Someway to return a favor._ He thought bitterly as he remembered the way she had saved his life back on Coruscant and her assistance in the mission to Port Raga that had resulted in the rescue of Senator Zorin Krasul. Kiveron shook his head as he looked over at the datapad that had recorded the last exchange of words between the two of them. The Havoc Squad commander looked over at his helmet that was resting on a console nearby and shook his head at the sight of the blaster marks and scuff marks covering it.

Jaxo had died terrified and alone, She had died knowing that he had betrayed the trust that the two of them had built over the missions that they had performed together. She had died knowing that he had chosen the lives of prisoners over her life.

Kiveron had let her die not knowing until the final moment between the two of them that Ava Jaxo was in love with him. And the last time the two had met on Coruscant he had gone on and on about his relationship with his Squad's medic, Elara Dorne.

_I can take down the original Havoc Squad who defected from the Republic and get my squad through nearly everything but I can't pick up on when a woman is in love with me. Not to mention I couldn't save her, Instead I chose to save the lives of prisoners over her own._

He looked down at the blaster pistol hanging from his belt and imagined what it was going to feel like jamming the barrel down General Rakton's throat and pulling the trigger.

_Something to aspire to_. He thought as he heard the sound of armored boots entering the bridge He didn't turn around as he heard a familiar voice echo through the bridge.

"It wasn't your fault sir." Elara said softly as she sat down next to her CO and gently held his hand. "There wasn't anything you could have done. It was either save the prisoners or Jaxo and with all due respect, she knew the risks that comes with being in Special Ops."

"I know." Kiveron said quietly as he continued looking down. "But the more I think about it the more I keep thinking that there was something that I could have done to save both her and the prisoners. There had to have been something I could have done."

Elara shook her head and softly rested her head on his shoulder. "I'm sorry sir, but the more you think about what you could have done the more it's going to hurt. I can't pretend that I know exactly what your going through but I have been through situations that are similar and I know that the more you dwell on it, the worse it feels."

Kiveron nodded his head. "She was in love with me Elara. She was in love with me and no offense but when I visited her on Coruscant all I did was talk about how happy I was with you. I didn't know she was in love with me until moments before her death back on that damn asteroid." Kiveron said quietly as he clenched his hands into fists until they began to turn a pale white from the pressure that he was putting on them. "The next time I meet Rakton...I don't care if it's in ship to ship combat or face to face I'm going to kill him." He said in a soft dangerous voice. "I am going to take my blaster, shove it down his throat and before I pull the trigger I'm going to look him in the eyes and tell him who he killed and how that one death brought about his death at my hands."

"Sir...I...I've felt like that before. Losing someone that you care about hurts. But think of the consequences of Rakton's death. For all we know, killing him could drive the Sith to fight harder, or they could put someone even worse in his position to fill the gap. I think that our best bet would be to take in Rakton alive and have him answer for war crimes against the Republic."

Kiveron looked up and shook his head as a single tear rolled down his cheek. "I could have saved her Elara . Up until now we've always managed to get everyone out, always managed to somehow save everyone. But not this time, not Jaxo."

Kiveron didn't see the slap coming.

His cheek suddenly stung as Elara's hand impacted his face and he was even more unprepared for the soft kiss that followed the slap. His eyes widened in shock for a moment as Elara pulled away from him and looked down at him with eyes that were filled with compassion.

"I'm sorry, sir. But I needed to snap you out of that. Please...just listen to me. You can't undo the past but if we don't stop Rakton there will be many more deaths. What we need to do is focus on stopping him, the Republic is counting on us to stop him."

Kiveron nodded and looked up at Havoc Squad's medic and he got to his feet. "Your right Elara." He said quietly as he looked at the nav-computer and input a new series of coordinates . "But when the times comes...when we face Rakton, I want you with me. In case you need to stop me from doing something I'll regret."

Elara smiled and placed her left hand gently on his cheek and Kiveron pulled her into a tight embrace

Kiveron smiled. "We've got a galaxy to save." He said quietly as the nav-computer's mechanical voice echoed across the confined bridge.

"Destination set: Voss. Estimated time to arrival: Six Hours."


End file.
